DEFINITION – Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed.
Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions.
STAGES OF GRIEF – reading through so much literature on grief, these stages seem to be consistent, but the order in which people experience them is unique and individual. Loss is a deeply personal and singular experience.
Denial & Isolation
Anger – the intense emotion of loss is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger.
Bargaining – the normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control through a series of “If only” statements.
Depression – there are two types of depression that are associated with mourning –
The first one is a sadness and regret.
The second type is more subtle, more private. It is a quiet preparation to separate from the one we love and to say a final good-bye.
Acceptance – this phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a time of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.
IN OUR HOME – In our home there is a palpable air of love and also a sense of profound loss, and they are so intertwined, so tightly woven, that it can best be described as exquisite pain.
Some days are better than others. We all do chores and then go to work in one capacity or another, some days and most nights we just lock the door and stay inside as a family, cook for each other, and talk. We seem to all have the need to be close to each other right now, physically and emotionally.
Massimo and Mama Beetz did not just lose My Rhumb, they lost their mother, their teacher, their best friend, their world. The first week for them was rough, they were scared, nervous, searching, clingy to us, and not wanting to be alone. It has been just over a month since Rhumb died now, and their days are becoming lighter, they are expanding into their new way of being one step at a time, and we are here for them. I lost My Rhumb, they lost their Everything.