she who must be obeyed …

My garden is looking quite wild this morning, and if I stand for just long enough, I can see each plant grow an inch or two.

My coffee is darn near perfect.

My kids have been for a long run and are now picking raspberries.

Our kitchen is looking like a garden farmy kind of disaster, and I love it.

My husband is making more construction piles around the house… again.

The office appears to have had a tornado come and go, and I just don’t have the oomph to do much about it right now.

Rhumb is looking for a boyfriend and has chosen $eeker this morning, and he wants nothing to do with this business, he looks like he is being sexually harassed.

All my dogs are looking a little lazy from the heat, Story in particular. He is hanging with me in the cooler areas of the house as of late, and that is fine by me.

With our little simple life, there are daily details, happenings, coming and goings. and adjustments. An ebb and flow of sorts. And while the universe may be complex and ‘obey’ certain rules, it never feels that way in our world.

We live by connection to one another, really seeing each other and taking that time. We support each other, keep each other honest, debate, and trust one another. We have created a nest that nurtures not only with food, but with love and comfort. We communicate openly about, well just about everything, everything actually. And we compromise all of the time. We argue, sometimes there are tears, we get sad, we have joy, it is everything, and with this understanding, it is an honest life.

We have never, not once, ever used the word ‘obey’ with our animals or children, or to me from my husband or visa versa. Actually in just thinking that, it would be quite hysterical to even imagine it. I think my kids would walk away laughing and most likely joke about it for days, they might be semi feral come to think of it. My dogs wouldn’t get it, and it isn’t part of my husbands constitution to make me or anyone else ‘obey him’. Like I would or my dogs would anyway?!

Again, our home, my nest, the world we have created for ourselves is a giant heart space where we have learned to live together. Ebb and flow.

But oddly enough in my line of work, I hear the word ‘obey me’ on a daily basis. Several times each day actually. Sometimes it feels like someone is throwing acid in my face when those words are vocalized, because there is a meaning behind that meaning in a certain context. And other times it just rolls off because the person just wants to have a nice relationship with their dog and they simply lack knowledge in training.

I have gone to workshops where ‘obeying the person’ was the 100% goal, regardless of the person being less than kind. I have worked with clinicians who actually seek out, purchase, and wear shirts that say ‘she who must be obeyed’. That generally never bodes well for the dogs they are working with by the way. And I have had appointments with canine health care professionals who have told me that my dogs must obey them and respect them.

The bottom line, when a person tells me they must be obeyed, they must be in control, they must, must, must, it simply tells me, between the lines, that they don’t get it yet. They have not matured, developed, or evolved as an emotional, spiritual, or social human, with eyes wide open. It is really that simple.

“Cool your jets Grasshopper …” And even then, it goes over some peoples knowledge base.

Live a good life, live a life where you connect and feel something. Know that there will be good days and hard days, and some down right suck days, but all in the scope of living. If you choose to learn, choose to be informed, choose to make an effort, well then, you are creating a good place to be, hopefully for a super long time.

With the best of intentions, Nancy

4 Comments Add yours

  1. mtwaggin says:

    Obey is a control freak’s thing and I know, been there – learning now way later in life to just let it “ebb and flow” and gee whiz, it gets so much better!

  2. Teresa says:

    Trust, Respect and unconditional love go a long way in promoting conversation and a health home from which we grow and learn to live our life to the fullest.

  3. Nikki says:

    Perhaps you could make a t-shirt with that phrase “Cool Your Jets, Grasshopper!” Love these words!

    1. I would wear that shirt!

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